How to Stop Being a Bitch About Gay Men in the News
I know, I know—we all have the same problem when it comes to being a bitch about gay men in the news: we’re not allowed to be, you know, really fucking nice about them.
But the problem isn’t just gay men, it’s straight people, too.
For years, we’ve been told that we can’t be nice about straight people in the gay world.
We’re not, you see, not nice enough.
We don’t like straight men.
We hate straight men and have been since our youth.
In fact, it was so bad that in 2017, after decades of trying to be nice, we got tired of the whole thing and decided to go full-on bs.
We started the hashtag #NiceIsNice and the hashtag was trending worldwide.
For a while, it seemed like the only acceptable way to be a good gay man was to be very, very nice to straight men—but then, after a few months, the gay-straight alliance at the National Organization for Marriage started talking about how we should all stop being nice to gay men.
It’s a conversation we’re still in, and we’re having a blast about it.
So, we thought, let’s have a few more people on the front lines of the conversation.
The first step to a more tolerant society is for us to stop talking about it as a gay issue, and talk about it like a straight issue.
So I asked some of the best gay people in our movement, both gay men and straight men, what the best thing about being gay was.
And the answer was not to be gay.
It was to not be a fucking asshole.
One of the top gay men on the planet, author and author of The Way I Am (out now), told me the best way to not have an asshole is to not listen to them.
“I don’t think you’re being a dick,” he said.
“You’re being polite, and the thing that makes me feel good is if you’re not being a fucking dick, you’re also not a dick.
It makes me happy to hear your voice.
It helps me understand what you’re saying.
And I like to think that’s what being a gay man is all about.”
In 2017, in the wake of the horrific Orlando shootings, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People released a video that was designed to make sure that, in every public space, black people were safe and heard.
The video showed a group of black people walking down a busy street and discussing how they were being treated.
“They were being rude,” the video begins.
“It’s a bad thing, you can’t even hear what they’re saying because they’re so loud.”
“I don, uh, I mean, I think the thing we can learn from this is that, youknow, the best we can do is be polite and not be an asshole, and not listen at all to them.”
Another gay man I spoke to said that he’s learned to not give a shit about straight white men.
“I think we need to stop being so fucking nice to the white people, because they are just fucking white people,” he told me.
He continued: “And you know what?
They’re just fucking lazy.
They’re not as intelligent as us.
And they’re just, you don’t have to be racist, you just have to know when you’re getting into it with a white person, and, you need to know, ‘Oh, you might just have the wrong fucking race.'”
“You can’t hate them as much as you hate them.
It hurts your feelings,” he added.
“That’s what you should be saying to them, ‘No, you have the right race.’
And you have to say that to every white person that you talk to.
And if you don’ t, you should just be, like, a fucking bitch about it.”
The second best thing that gay men can do to help the straight world stop being a shithole, he added, is to stop giving them the shit they deserve.
“Because the best they can do, is they need to learn to stop trying to make it their problem to be an ass,” he continued.
“We’re not a fucking race, you understand that?”
And for straight white people who are really nice to people of color, this is their opportunity to say, you want to hear this, I don’t get it?
“I get that, too,” he replied.
“And if you say that, then you are going to be the first person to get really angry.
And then you can, like you did with us, youcan just say, ‘Fuck you.’
I don’ think youre really going to change anything.”
“And then if you want something more than a slap on the wrist,” he went on, “you should just start being the fucking asshole